My Uncle is My Father

A single mother raised me. Despite all my efforts to persuade my mother to reveal who my biological father was, she kept mute about it. It was awful that no one, not even her family, knew who he was. I learnt that my grandfather had done everything possible to coerce her to tell him. As though under oath, she never divulged this information.

Because of the hurt I felt by her action, we had a serious fallout. I believed that I deserved to know my root. My step-siblings organised a birthday party for her when she turned 67. A young pastor was invited to pray for her. I didn’t attend the party because I still wasn’t on talking terms with her.

Later on, I was told she got converted by the Pastor. She became born again, which led her to attend church. After that, she invited me to her house, and I reluctantly went. My reluctance was because I had not been to the house for almost 2 years since we had not reconciled.

This visit came with the most shocking revelation of my life. My mother informed me that I was a product of an affair she had with her first cousin. He was a seminarian at that time and currently a high-ranking clergy. Out of shame, she vowed to die with this information. On hearing this, I laughed very hard because I couldn’t think of any other way to respond. It was inconceivable.

She told me that her cousin wasn’t aware of this. She had lied to him about her child’s paternity when he asked. I had a great ‘uncle-nephew’ relationship with my biological father before this revelation. My mother later opened up to him, and they agreed to keep it secret because of his reputation.

He recently invited me over for a talk, but I have decided not to go. I feel both hurt and embarrassed that I am finding it hard to forgive my mum. My mother and I have not seen each other since the devastating revelation. I have not even told my wife about it. I really don’t know how to disclose such information to people who know me. 

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